Brenda Adelman
Directing Focus
Would it be helpful to discover how can you ensure your message lands with focused and emotional impact?
A Modern Day Hamlet
Brenda Adelman’s story begins with an unimaginable loss—her father killed her mother and then married her aunt. This betrayal became the catalyst for her life’s work and the creation of her one-woman show. Unlike Hamlet, who, filled with grief, sought revenge for his father’s murder, Brenda chose a different path. She sought forgiveness, not vengeance.
Through the process of creating and performing her one-woman show, Brenda delved into the trauma, not to vilify her father, but to process her pain and ultimately embrace compassion. Her dynamic story of forgiveness provided her audiences across the nation to seek forgiveness over revenge.
Her journey is about connecting with her own story and finding the strength to share it from a place of healing. Brenda’s story highlights the power of forgiveness as a transformative tool, showing that even in the face of deep betrayal, we have the ability to choose healing over hurt and to reclaim our narrative with grace and courage.
Brenda Adelman is a Speaking Director and author who helps individuals transform their stories into powerful messages, guiding them from the page to the stage with clarity and impact. Through her coaching, she empowers speakers to craft and deliver their narratives with authenticity, enabling them to connect deeply with their audiences.
Directing Focus: Why It Matters
Focus is a powerful tool. Where we place our attention shapes not only how we experience the world but how others experience our stories. For Brenda, directing focus meant transforming her audience’s perception of her story from one of tragedy to one of hope and healing.
In storytelling and speaking, focus ensures that every moment, every detail, serves a purpose. By strategically placing focus in the right places, speakers can guide their audience through an emotional journey that feels genuine and impactful.
Focus faces toward the right places
Brenda shared a compelling story about a client who was an activewear salesman who initially though, “I don’t have a story.”
This client was struggling to see how her personal experiences could translate into something worth sharing on stage. But Brenda, ever the insightful coach, asked a question that shifted the entire perspective: "Well, have you ever been in love?"
The client paused and replied, "Well, once." That seemingly simple answer unlocked a powerful narrative. The client discovered how that experience with unrequited love had profoundly affected her and led her to start her journey to running. She had used running as a way to process and channel her emotions. This seemingly small moment of reflection became the key to her story.
Through Brenda's guidance, she saw that the pain of heartbreak was not something to shy away from—it was a pivotal chapter in her life that led her to strength and resilience. By focusing on the right parts of her experience, the client was able to craft a powerful story, showing that even the most painful chapters can become the foundation for an inspiring narrative.
Brenda’s question “Have you ever been in love?” was a masterclass in how to direct focus. It shifted her client’s attention to the transformative power of personal experience, allowing her to see her own story in a new light. That story of love, loss, and healing became a powerful message that resonated with audiences, reminding us that sometimes, we just need to focus on the right moments to create something meaningful.
Focus to make sure that your message lands
During the podcast, I shared an experience that struck me hard and really hammered this point home about focus being pulled in the wrong direction and miscommunication. I recalled a time when I was in a situation that tested my ability to direct focus, and it became a vivid reminder of how crucial communication is, not just in the moment but in how we craft our message and how it is received.
Let me take you back to my last year of pony league baseball. I was warming up our best pitcher, Austin, on the high school field, right next to the dugout. Mid-warmup, our coach called for me, distracting me just for a moment. I waved my hand, signaling "hold up a moment," to let Austin know I wasn’t quite ready to catch. I said something like, “yeah coach?” But, the message didn’t get through to the pitcher. Austin didn’t see me, and I didn’t know he hadn’t heard me. The result? A fastball coming straight for my temple, knocking me out cold for a few moments. That hit was a painful reminder that communication isn’t just about what we say; it’s about making sure the message is received and understood.
Crafting a message is only half the work; the true art lies in ensuring it's received in the way it was meant to be."
That hit wasn’t just a physical blow—it was a wake-up call about how critical clear communication is, especially when it’s misunderstood or missed entirely. In storytelling and life, if our message isn’t clear or if the audience isn’t ready, we risk the same kind of misfire. To truly connect, we need to direct our focus, making sure our message lands where it’s intended. Like preparing for a fast pitch, we must make sure our audience is "gloved up" and ready to catch. Otherwise, we risk the painful consequences of miscommunication. The lesson? It’s all about aligning our focus and ensuring our messages are received as intended—clearly, purposefully, and with positive impact, not like a blow to the side of the head.”
Brenda's Layered Framework
Brenda’s storytelling method is rooted in a layered framework. This layered approach makes me think of a baseball sized jawbreaker, her themes are built in layers—each one complementing and deepening the others. They are interconnected but distinct stories. This method keeps her audience engaged while ensuring the core message remains clear and compact.
Layer your themes
Create Layers in your presentation by connecting them to an overarching Major and minor theme.
Think of your speech as a jawbreaker with a hard outer shell. Start with a solid foundation (your main themes), then add layers of depth (secondary themes), and finish with a memorable takeaway (your call to action). It’s like a jawbreaker with a Tootsie Roll center—the really good part that everyone’s waiting for.
So, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of your message? Just like the candy, your audience needs time and focus to break through the layers. The more effectively you layer your themes, the easier it will be to get to the heart of your message—the part that resonates most deeply and sticks with your audience long after your speech ends.
When you focus on the themes rather than disconnected stories, you create a more impactful connection. Not everyone will perfectly see themselves in your specific story, but by weaving universal themes throughout, you bring your audience to moments in their own lives where they’ve experienced those same shared human emotions. Themes are the key—they are the thread that ties the whole experience together. They allow your audience to not just listen to your story but to feel it, making the connection stronger and more meaningful. Themes are the backbone of your message, and when done right, they resonate with everyone in the room.
A Jawbreaker of a Message
Brenda Adelman’s framework isn’t a quick fix or a corporate formula—it’s a rich, layered approach rooted in years of experience. It’s a method that acknowledges the complexity of life, invites audiences to see the gray areas, and offers a path to healing and understanding.
By directing focus with intention and crafting stories with layered themes, Brenda demonstrates that the stage isn’t just a platform—it’s a place of transformation. Whether through a one-woman show or a keynote address, her method shows how speakers can elevate their message and leave a lasting impact.
Own Your Story
If you’ve ever considered sharing your story, Brenda’s journey offers a powerful blueprint.
I suggest starting by identifying your Major and Minor themes, layering your message, and finding creative ways to share your experiences.
Whether you choose a one-person show, a speech, or another medium, remember that directing focus is the key to making your story resonate.
What will you focus on?
How will you layer your themes to create an unforgettable message?
Your stage is waiting—step into the spotlight.
If you are ready to take your next step to craft your story here is a free download to improve Communication and empower your story.
Book your success story session today!